How I Escaped & Faced Fear

When I was a child,

I played cards to ease my fears.

If I could solve all 52 cards,

I thought the next day would be good.

If I failed, and the ace of spades was left unsolved,

I believed my next days would be terrible.

It scared me so much that I cried.

When I became an adult,

with financial independence,

I picked up drinking.

And for a while, it worked.

Alcohol made things blur, easier to handle.

It helped me forget bad times,

Helped me avoid certain emotions, certain truths.

Drinking became a solution for everything—

Happiness, heartbreak, celebrations, loneliness, boredom, relationships, breakups, holidays.

Drinking became bravery, self-love, self-destruction.

Drinking was how I forgot.

Drinking was how I pretended.

Drinking was how I risked myself and others.

Drinking was how I avoided reality.

It took me over a decade to face this ugly truth.

And now, I am working on building a better relationship with alcohol.

Not because I have to,

But because my body and soul demand it.

And I’m not upset about it.

Facing Fear Instead of Escaping It

This reflection is not just about my fears.

It is about how I let them control me.

How I let them shape my life.

I have lived in fear for as long as I can remember.

And maybe, I will always live with some fear.Maybe life will never be easy.

Maybe I will never fully escape insecurity.

But at the very least,I know that now,

I have the power to face it.

And I want to.

If I hit rock bottom, so be it.

At least I will know I tried.

And if I fall, I will get up again.

Because that is still better than living in fear forever.

I am choosing to fight.

I am choosing to be truly independent.

Because for the first time,

I believe I need this.

I believe in myself.

And I love myself enough to try.