Maybe What Has Happened Is Necessary: Life Lessons at 40

My first day of turning 40, I woke up with a different perspective.

Usually, the moment I open my eyes, my mind starts spinning, replaying what happened yesterday, what I did, what others did, what disturbed my peace. I start analyzing everything: myself, the situation, my emotions, even other people’s intentions. Then comes self-empathy, self-sympathy, and the endless questions: why, what did I do wrong, what could I have done better?

Eventually, I get out of bed and forget all the lessons the universe has been trying to teach me.

I’ve read about them, listened to them, even been reminded by friends about the Buddha’s teachings that the universe will keep nudging us until we finally learn what we need to. And still, I forget.

I admit I haven’t paid enough attention. I’ve been too busy seeking self-sympathy, serving my own desires, and forgetting to truly understand others’ feelings that they too can feel pain, that they too want to be loved, seen, and appreciated. I forgot to be humble, authentic, and genuine.

But I can’t fully blame myself. The way I’ve thought and acted came from years of enduring hardship. Years that taught me to be strong, guarded, and self-reliant just to survive in a competitive world. Those traits served me well; they made me who I am today. Yet I can also admit that this mindset has, at times, hurt the people I care about, and ultimately, myself.

So now, I am humbly choosing to change. Because what I truly want is simple: to see the people around me happy.

The Maybe

Maybe being vulnerable isn’t that scary.

Maybe being caring and attentive doesn’t make me weak.

Maybe crying in front of others isn’t desperation.

Maybe — just maybe — vulnerability is what we really need to live fully. Perhaps I’ve confused vulnerability with weakness, and it’s time I learn the differences.

Today, I woke up with a different kind of clarity. Turning into 40, I feel optimistic, as if the universe just handed me a new lens to see through. I believe the recent events in my life happened for a reason — a necessary lesson before stepping into this new decade.

What I thought I lost, I’ve actually gained tenfold in wisdom. I’ve learned to lower my expectations, to accept that things can change in a heartbeat, to appreciate others more deeply, and to never take love or time for granted. I’ve learned that the world doesn’t revolve around me and that life is about evolving with others, not just within myself. Serving others doesn’t mean losing who I am; it’s an act of love, humility, and grace.

Maybe it’s not just about embracing happiness for myself, but also for those who make space and time for one another. Maybe it’s my time to serve because when they’re happy, I’m happy too.

Looking back, 39 gave me both highs and lows, but the last half was filled with gratitude, joy, and growth. As I step into 40, I choose to live with awareness, kindness, service, selflessness, gratitude, and vulnerability.

I choose to love myself — and everyone around me — because we all deserve that kind of love.

I do believe, what has happened is necessary for my life lessons at 40.